Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
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December 3, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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December 3, 1924
 

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PAGE TWELVE I THE CATALINA ISLANDgg How 10ng will their presents last It pays to buy children presents that will last--prac- tical, well made things, which they can play with long after Christmas. We have an unusually complete stock of these sensi- ble gifts, which bring real Christmas happiness to children. Come early, while our stock is complete. Bring the children. USEFUL GIFTS FOR EVERYBODY AT THE CATALINA HARflWAFIE COMPANY RADIO SETS and STORAGE BATTERIES Refined Crude The Time To Pull A famous surgeon was asked how he was able to keep working under such T The Place for Him wo sweethearts from were rambling round, when to a movie. The young man ran his ey the front of the buihting. ] a title in large letters--"TI Pays." "Jean," he said. "I think we'll g~g in here."--Croyden Advertiser. a great pressure. He replied that when it seemed that he had reached The Lion at Home ud Robertson--You said you alwaYS~ the end of his tether he would recall the last word with your wife, but _s~r, the words of the coach of his college I've been here she's continually ot~ crew : "When you come to the time when ed you about, . W0rg you feel that you cannot pull anothe~ Albertson--I do have the last._bt~ stroke, then sit up and row." Didn't you hear me say ":All rig Co-ed: "How long could I live with- out brains ?" Prof : "Time will tell."--Colorado Dodo. An Honest Man, At Last! Diogenes: (meeting College Fresh- man) "Well, sir, whaddya know?" C. F.: "Oh, nothing much." And Diogenes blew out his lantern and went to bed.--Purple Parrot. Peggy : "Lemme chew your gum." Joyce : "Gold-digger !"--~Vashington Dirge. Easy Many beginners in golf--and many The Upholstered Variety Diner--"Waiter, what kind of r~e~t is this ?" Waiter--"Spring lamb, sir." . * O~ "[ thought so I've been cheWln~. one of the springs for an hourt''t don Answers. Versatile Child . ..n "Good gracious!" said the vislt2~ bachelor, "does your baby always ~" that way ?" . u0~t~ "Oh, clear, no!" responded hts t0ire. "He has quite an extensive reper~f0f This is only one of his lighter Pc'7,]rl~ manees; he reserves h~s hea Y Acl- for 2 A. M."--\Vestern Christian '" vocate (Cincinnati). who are not beginners--are grievously Fine Words Didn't Work ,e afflicted with the malady of topping ~ hay the ball. A player whose efforts to'12erence: "'Tis a fine kid ye .hie cure himself of this infliction only here A ma nificent head andm'~_l resulted in the reverse of the Coke " g ctW'e formula, addrest a professional with gloom in his ear and despair in his eve. 'l'm hitting the ball every time right on the top. 1 want you to tell me a cure for it !" "Oh," replied the professional, "just turn the hail upside down."--The Ar- gonaut. "Tommy, what sort of a present do yotl think your sister would like for her birthday ?" "Well, Ma's givin' her a razor and Pa's givin' her cigarettes--you might try a pair of (lice !" No Kick Coming features. Could you lend me a of dollars?" 's Pat: "I couhl not. 'Tis me wife chiht by her first husband." Playing Safe Harrv--"\Vonder why so manY ~e!a sing while taking a bath ?" - the I;eoro-e--"I know why I d'~he hath room door won't lock."--" - Ncrvice. No Question About It "Ah wins." "\Vhat you got ?" "Three aces." "No yuh do~a't. Ah wins." "1 just stopt in to tell you," began "\Vhat yuh got?" the man at the complaint desk of {he [wo nines and a razor. ,_ so I Igas cOmI'anv' ''t/lat my gas stOve ble\v ''YOn shOh dO' HOW cOIIle yungrOwledllp''Tellve'ater(la~C'thevOur surlytrubh'Sclerk.t a "That'sPlumber'"nolucky ?"MICKIE --- ~ fatflt of ours--you got no kick here." "Oh, I'm not kicking," replied the customer cheerfully, as he opened the that your blamed ohl slot meter back- fired at the same time and 1 haven't been doing anything but pick up sil- ver quarters all over the cellar ever since. Good day !"--American Legion I Weekly. Lucky Angler Maud--"The dictionary says that a 'bob' is something used in angling." Marie--"I suppose that's why you got yours, dear."--Boston Transcript. Appropriate "~ After many conferences had been i ~1~.' I held by the board of directors of a small-town bank about buying a new water-cooler, a grouchy old member had this tosay: "Gentlemen, before we adjourn, f nmve that our next conference be held on a merry-go-round." And, as they looked at him in as- I tonishment, he added the tag of ex- planation : "\Ve never get anywhere."--Wall Street Journal. A Good Rule If your ears woukl keep from jeers, Five things keep meekly hid: Myself and I and Mine and My I And what "[ said and did." ', --The Sentinel One for Two 0 ~.Fn ~i,~~ U~l~t ~;At~;~ Friend--"I suppose you find your 116 $ Hotd wife can live on your income all right ~" Newlywed-"Oh, yes, indeed" but it's up to me now to make another for myself."--The Etude. at WINDLE'S NEWS STAND.