Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
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October 22, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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October 22, 1924
 

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PAGE TWELVE i i az ii i, , ,i ii D Refined Crude THE CATALINA ISLAI TIME WILL TELL aunt partook heartily of cake a~,. ~lll| serves. When asked if he hating_Tall all that was g,,,.'l for him, lie I that he didn't know. 1 "But what do you think?" I "Ain't no use thinkin'." .. #1 "Well, you're a funny boy," said ! aunt. "When will you know?" I "In half an hour." | "Aml how will you know?" , #~1 Well that's e~ts If I aillt ~'.~! " ' ' " Y" "1~ " in half an hour, VII I)e sorry 1 L. l take fnore; and if I'm sick 1'11 be~| I took so mueh. That's the 01117 """ to tell that I know of." Equip Your Home for Warmth and Dryness Before the Heavy Rains Set in Iron FOR WOOD OR COAL, $9.00 to $20 um Y This Scientifically Constructed Heater Gives an Intense, Odorless Heat at a Cost of Two and Three Cents Per Hour, According to the Size of the Heater CATALINA HAFII]WAltE COMPANY A, Darkey's Prayer A white minister was conducting re- ligious services in a colored church in North Carolina recently. After exhort- ing a bit he asked an old colored dea- con to lead in prayer, and according to the Roanoke News, this is the ap- peal which the brother in black offer- ed for his brother in white: "Oh Lord, gib him de eye of de eagle dat he spy out sin afar off. Glue his hands to de gospel plow. Tie his tongue to de line 'of truf. Nail his 6ar to de gospel.pole. Bow his head way down between his knees, and his knees way down in some lonesome, dark an narrar valley, where prayer is much wanted to be made. 'Noint him wid de kerosene ile of salvashun and sot him on fire." "There was a stranger in church this morning, but I did not see him," remarked the country nlinister. "How do you know, then ?" inquired Mrs. Parson. "I found a dollar in the contribution box," was the reply.--Country Gentle- Irlan, "Nigger," warned one, "don't mess wid me, 'cause when yo' does, yo' sure is flirtin' wid (ic hearse," "Don't pestigate wid me, nigger," re- plied the other, shaking his fist, "don't fo'ce me to press dis on yo', 'cal~se ef I does, 1'11 hit yo' so hard I'll separ- ate yo' ideas from you' habits; I'll jest knock yo' from amazin' grace to a A Perfect Excuse. ~*1 The little girl had thrown a stte~" her sister, a year or two her se~i0r~,~ "Katherine" said daddy, ,'did I" ,,, ltoatin' opportunity." throw that stick at your sister, replI, "Ef you' mess wid me, niggcr," con- "Yes, daddy." wqs the defiant tinued the other, "VII jest make one "Why did you (1o lt?" t~ pass, and dere']l be a man pattin' yo'"Because," instantly replied ,$f, in (le facewid a spade termorrer youngster, witil her eyes flasifiog, mornin'." terward she [tit me." THE ONE THING standing near overheard the remark, "Well. then, four t!mes six'.'" I and turning to the voung lady, said: "Don't know." _ "Yes, miss, it makes everyone sick who "Who xCas the husband of Queep tries to lick it."---Exchange, toria?" ? to~ "Don't know." ed I ~~@ ~ "Say," sai(l a messenger boy to an-The teacher hecame exasperat i~ II~ [:~-~ GuAaammED other, "got any novels to swop? .... Is there anything you can allS~' .... ~"='-'"=:~=~'-=--" "I've got 'Snake-foot Dan's Re- she asked sardonically. P' ~ ......... venge,' " replied the other. "Yes'm," he replied. ---~-- " "Is is a long story ?" "And what is that, pray'/~ m,,,,~-~ o ~ "Naw! Ye can finish it easy in two "The teleDhone, m'm." " ~ ......... ~~ messages." I BILL BOOSTER SAYS m~ I~'~h~~~ An old lady on her first railroad '.OF.,. trip noticed the bell-cord overhead, and,,That,askedmarm,,,a boy whathe replied,it was fOr.with a ll4t"~l~tt'~ I D~'~lt mischievous twinkle in his eye, "is to ring the bell when you want something,IM4M'I~IMQ, ~ ~Agl~ej "qOO ] to cat." F'EK1. ~$~.TT~R, ~J4D ~ ~ I rongh, oN train began t slacken its speed' win- " 's "vera!l, gave sounded,edShrtly afterward the old lady reach-her it aumbrella the vigorous brakes up pull. were to the The putCrd on, whistle and the ~V,~. FOIl" ~DSlkl~$ ~" "~4~ OMt'q' I ~kISI M~'~ }4d~l A I-liT ~II'IH'NO HI~ p,l~'l~la~' ~01~11 i~ dows were thrown tip, and confusion UM.O~-~.'r~dlgllk ~, | reigned among the passengers. The old lady sat cahnly through it all, lit- ..---J dreaming that she was the cause of T~.II~ the excitement. Presently the conduc- tor canle rushing through the car and asked, "Who pulled that bell?" 'I did," replied the old lady, meekly. an1",. go "Well, what do you want ?' snapped You C Wrong on this th, , o% i. k.., DI tlr'omWna"on Well, said the ohl lady, medita- tively, "you may bring me some ham sandwiches and a cup of tea, if you LOS ANGELES PRICES, OF COURSE! please." Said an overbearing lawyer: "Ignor- ance of the law excuses no one." "I'm sorry for you, then," said the I witness, "if you ever get in trouble." HEYWOOD'S They were swapping dog stories at the Tuna Club, and one of them said: "Yes, fellows, the way my dog was 'rhe B~t R~sott for Buying in Avalon devoted to me was amazing. He over- 116 Sumner Avow, Opposite Atwat Hotel heard me say to my wife that I was ~d the Cor~-But is Pays to Walk. pressed for money, so he went and died the day before the dog-tax was due." etgh t ?" "Dnn't know." the stars and stripes were conspicu- ously featured, a foreign girl with strong anti-American proclivities turn- ed to her companion and remarked: "That American flag makes me sick. It looks just like a piece of checker- berry candy." An American congressman who was While watchinp a parade in which tlme the tea---~her asked $~1~ aEveryq estlon she always got the $ answer, "I don't know." t~# "Johnny," she said, "what IS