Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
September 24, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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September 24, 1924

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PAGE TWELVE INSURE YOURSELF MANY PLEASANT EVENINGS BY EQUIPPING YOUR RADIO SET WITH [] TWO SIZES---STANDARD PRICES $18.90 AND $23.60 O CATALINA HARDWARE COMPAN Crude A Frenchman was courting an English girl. Her mother said, ntis- chevously: "Now, monsieur, if my daughter and I were both drowning, which would you save first?" With great presence of mind he replied: "t would save madame' and I woul,1 perish with mademoiselle !"--Lon- (ton Daily News. We can never be the better for our religion, if our neighbor be-the worse for it.--\Vm. Penn. Speaking of the Coolidge reserve, a reporter attempted an interview: "Do you wish to say anything about prohibition?" was the first question. ."No." "About the farm bloc ?" "No." "About the World Court?" The reporter turned to go. "By the way," added Coolidge, unexpectedly calling him back, "don't quote me."--Boston Globe. Bill--My ambition is to become a writer of modern fiction. Phil--Have you had much exper- ience.--Life. Teacher--Johnny, name a collec- tive noun. Johnny--A vacumn cleaner.--Life. It "---99 94-I00 Percent Pure" A little girl who is just learning to read short words takes a great interest in the big letters she sees in the newspapers. The other ev- ening after she had kept her mo- ther awake half the night reading advertisements to her she knelt down to say her prayers: "Dear Lord," she lisped, "make me pure." Then she hesitated and went on with added favor, "Make me absolutely pure like baking powder !"--Blue Pencil. I Depe dabl I A Bright Pupil A class of boys had been study- n e ing pysiology, and one day the master toht them to write a com- position on "the Spine." Among the many papers sent was the following: "The spine is a long btmeh of bones that runs up and down the back and holds the ribs. The skull sits on one end, and I sit on the othcr."--Exchange. Great Variety IB l()E i9 i v0r, 00 ,.0 yI I Litt,; Use--ful Articles 0 Never forget, please, the bow- legged floorwalker who said, "Walk this way, Madam."--Exchange. She Did "And you tell me several men proposed nmrriage to you ?" he said, savagely. "Yes; several," the wife replied, "in fact, quite a number." "Well, I only wish you had mar- ried the first fool who lwoposed." "I did."--Exchange. Farmer--Be this the Womon's Exchange ? Woman--Yes. Farmer--Be ye the woman? Woman--Yes. Farmer--Well, then, I think I'll keep Maggie.--Vanouvcr Province. Old Wash came into town one day from his Nola Chucky farm and saw an electric fan for the first time. He stared at the whirring gray phantom-like thing for some minutes, then he said:--- "Mars James, dat sut'ny is a lively squirrel yo' got in dat cage, sah; but he's sholy gwine ter bus' his heart if he keeps on makin' dam resolutions so fast." Magazines, newspapers, candies, etc., at WINDLE'S NEWS STAND. EYWOOD'S I The Best Reason for Buying in Avalon 116 Sumner Avenue, Opposite Atwater Hotd Around the Corn~.---But is Pays to Walk. THE CATALINA Knows It All. The man who really And never tells it. we But he who only thinks h| And tells it, is a bore. Rebuked. ~ Old Lady (to druggist)--I box of c,mine pills. Druggist--What's the matter ~ the dog? Old Lady (indfgnantly)---I to know, sir, that my tleman. The druggist put up pills in profound tlonallst. Details on the Farm* The newly-wed bride frona went to a neighboring farmer tlate for a cow. "About what sort of cow think you would llke'.' raiser. "Well, I thought maybe a or malted cow wouhl be we often use those kinds of How pl night. poets theme. Yes. Cause and Effect. He's always on the go, ~. ODt~l Is William Henry D ~4 And that's the reason W~: He's never on the Job, Different. "My ambition is to Whip teacher." "For shame." "Oh, he encourages me In it." "Eh ?" "I mean my boxing teacher." "Assembling the ~ "Everybody In your suburb s be moving. The streets are a'lll men carrying furniture and ware." "Nobody is moving. But we out when any one gives a card