Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
Lyft
September 10, 1936     The Catalina Islander
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September 10, 1936
 

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PAGE TWELVE Refined ( rude TURCO Help You Turco Cleaner - for Woodwork Turco Blufax = for softening water Turco XOL -- for Linoleum i PHONE 400 [ l PqcONg AVALON 507-J PHONE R|CJHIMOND 6171 AVA~LON, CALIF. ,7,9L1~~. APNL:Wg~ST. RAY C. WALL, REPRESENTATIVE 'OF IVY OVERHOLTZER, Inc. . FJJNRAL DI RCTOR @.ram= [ Friday ernoon m Saturday morning September 11-12 (Open Friday evening) Our Fall Display of | Ankle fashioned oxfords For Men and Youn Men i FOR SPORT, GOLF AND STREET I | Avalon Dry Goods | With All Respect Reciprocal A clergyman and an old major were playing a round of golf in which the former was very aggravating. The major relieved himself by occasional outbursts. "I think, sir," remonstrated the clergyman, "if you have no respect for yourself, you might at least show re- sl,ect for the cloth." "Hang it, man," said the major, "we're playing golf--not billiards."-- Fishing Gazette. A lady who had employed a China- man as cook, asked him his name. "Me name San Toy Lee," he said. "Ah, your name is too long," the lady replied. "I will call you John." "All light," responded John. "What's your nanle ?" "Mrs. Charlotte Anne Hemingway," she told him. "Your name too long," remarked Jolm. "I call you Cholly."--The Mu- tual Magazine. First Love Child, do not weep because a tall lad leaves you ; The hurt will bruise for such a little while, This is not love, but only love's be- ginning ; Pick up your crumpled dreams, be brave and smile. First love is sweet, a preface to devo- tion. Not having known a tear, a qualm, a pain, How could you chart the high road which will lead you To older love that flows in richer vein. Child, hold your heart more proudly for its sorrow; It will be well tomorrow--young hearts heal. You are a woman.., keep these words for comfort . . . Rejoice, nay dear, because you throb and feel. --(Helen Welshimer in Good House- keeping). Gladys: "I inserted an ad in yester- day's paper for a ,male hiker to ac- eonlpany me on nly two weeks moun- tain climb..." Helen: "Did it bring results?" Gladys : "Results ? It brought a catastrophe.., of the hundreds of applicants that replied one was fa- ther . . ."--Exchange. Life Buoy He walked into a motion picture theatre where they were burning in- cense to give an oriental atmosphere. After sniffing the air, he said scorn- fully to a girl usher, "I smell punk." "Then," was the reply, "you go stand in the corner."--Forester. Considerate Sailor: "Don't bother me. I am writing to my girl." Marine: "But why are you writing so slowly ?" Sailor: "She can't read very fast."-- The Job Order (U.S.S. Melville). Good advertising holds old custom- ers and creates new ones. Suspicious Gentleman rider at village store: "I want some shorts for nay horse." Country girl: "Oh you do, do you? Next thing I suppose you'll want a brassiere for your cow."--Ex. At Catalina you'll always feel gay, There's Imaghter and merriment thru the day. all THE CATALINA Explained I Irate Father: "I through that chorus Lovesick Son : "I they all dress that "~Vhy did you leave yon asked the boss. leftI "1 didn't leave it; it the applicant. "How couht that be? "I worked in an tory and it went up Exchange. ---------"~- _.AJ Country lied4)' ' 'How was the scen~' trip ?" "It ran largely smoking tobacco. _______.-~ MICKIE SAY "Pop, what iS a "When ignorance ]Bell Diamonds for Genuine diauiondt~ tit lng grinding wheelS. too small or dis('ol' worthless on the For health, or rest, Catalina is WRIGLEY'S 1"# PERFECT GUM