Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
Lyft
September 3, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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September 3, 1924
 

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PAGE TWELVE uce an @ 9 WE ARE OFFERING TEN EACH OF THESE ARTICLES FOR A FEW DAYS $5 Less than Regular Cash Price Refit Crude Confirmed A somewhat exhilarated party wandered unsteadily lute a bank and l)resented a slip of paper oll which various hieroglyphics were scrawled. "Sorry, sir," said the paying teller, "but I can't recognize your signa- ture o11 this check." "That proves," stated the custo- mer smothering a hiccough, "that I wrote it." His \Vile (a very amateurish cook)--Don't growl over your food, John! No one is going to take it away from you !--Sketch (London). It Was Fine--But! Pat and Mike were eating char- lotte russe for dessert. "How do you like it?" asked Pat. "Sure an' it's foine," replied Mike, "but the outside crust is a bit tough !" THE CATALINA Judged by the Sound/~1~"~ Father--Great Scott ! Ha~ P.t~.W her n|usic lesson mixed up ~w:]lt~:'l gymnasium hour? ..~ Mother--Of course not. WhY o'*' a sk ? _*i Father--I thought from the~ was playing she might have ~,~ lessly taken the piano for a P~ bag. qualnted. Then we won't be ers. Heredity Explains It "At times," said the girl, "you seem to be manly enough, and then at other times you're absurdly ef- feminate. \Vhv on earth is it?'~ "Er-ah-here(fity," he replied. "Heredity ?" "Yes. You see half of nay ances- tors were men and the other half wolllen." Fixed Right A little boy ,,,rote in his dairy: Not Then. "Talk may be cheap," Said Bill McGlook; ."But not when the plUm+Oer Chins with the cook." Did a Thorough Job. ton =~ Reggle--I was out with Fegg1,~lII night, and she fell down and sPrttr"| [I her ankle. Oswald--Did you have to carter " back home? "Yes; I carried all of her ho~ "Got up at seven. Went to bed at eight." His teacher suggested that "Rose at seven" would be better, Light That Failed. O. wouhl, in fact, "be quite elegant." Wlfey--You used to say I wO # So the youngster erased his words light of your life. ..,,all I " 't StlPW. Hubby--Yes, but I di,ln _:.~/! [ gATAUNA HAHDWAHE g0MPANY on.and brie'lly put down: "Rose at sOY-setat e{ght." littleYU'veregingtgetput OUt at~i Ithing.--I)hlladelphla lilt" I ] after he has slaved all year he has nothing to show for it except a cal- The Modern Thought. aftI "'~ ~ endar "frnl his nlerehant'--Cuntrv "You sa~d you don't belong t | Gentleman. " club ? .... ~| I H++e e++t+o+o+++, Mother--I have painted all the "Goodness gracious! where do ,~4fi boards except one in the hall. Be go for your meals on the servantS 1 ! B, tl]ll]g .il: ++'+'++++P ou+,, ~" -" -" \Villie:-Oh, I know I've stepped on the right board. To make sure, ] j' I stepped on them all, How He Could,TelL i , My mind is made up. ...a~ i An American visitor in London, +% know it, because your conettu" / 1 Perce,, (.it -ibuying a paper front a newsbo+y:p+iceShOUldof thishavepapert paYif i doublewere overthe are more showy tha. sound." / in Amerlca." B, ~--L~~--S~ V S | "Well" replied the urchin, "yer ~ ! can pay me double guy-nor, if it'll make ver feel more at 'ome."--Pear- .... 0 son's \Vcekly. I ~ O~ ~O0~~ ~ ~lW' r[ I A~M. I% +ram I I Ii D " ALL . It ,,,as pitch black it, the parlor. Three hours ago Chlorine, the A~J~l~"t~Ikl~t. k~ODN/E~- ]| + 3A] ItiNG : ,it r~s "++~+0~+~+++ i naughty vamp. had turned out the | I light. "The clock on the mantel " I struck "one, two, three, four. t ALl-~)M~I~,~_~t It [ was a strange hollow sound echo- ing through the silence. A milk wagon rattled by. Again all ,,'as ' I Itl "DUC I I1 s+ Then froln the divan corner of the room came few faint noises, "Smack--smack--unmmmmt -- gulp __gu rgle--gulp--unltnnlnltn smack-- --sh-sh--" then a soft sighing sound. The water in the radiator w Here's your chance to get a real I had beg,,o to boil.--,urplo cow - ...'-----ZT~ ~,, J kN r] ,.o+ n.any will your car hold. "All the neighbors--and once m a while my wife and myself."--Life. as low as $3.95 "Pa, what is a bluff?" "Threatening to leave home if your mother has her hair bobbed, I m y W? ? D $S I my son.. Detroit Free l~ress.__ --" "What are you looking for ?" .......... "I lost a five-dollar bill at Broad- The Be t s yi g i alo way and Thirty-seventh street.' 116 Sumner Avenue, Opposite Atwater Hotel "Then why seek it up here at Times Square ?" Around the Corner--But is Pays to Walk. " 'Shmore light up here."--New York Sun and Globe.