Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
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August 13, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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August 13, 1924
 

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PAGE TWELVE THE CATALINA ISL []I i 1111 11 O O in O and O 45-VOLT EVEREADY B. BATTERIES ......................... $3.75 CUNNINGHAM OR RADIATRON TUBES .................. $4.00 CATALINA HARUWABE COMPANY Crude Twin Cities Again Minneapolis will never have any- thing on St. Paul. A fellow from over there came over here the other day just to look around and find fault. He approached a fruit stand, picked up a large watermelon and asked with a sneer: "Is this the largest apple "you have in St. Paul?" "Hey!" bellowed the owner of the fruit stand. "Put that grape down !"--Chevy Circle. Mebbe He Was a Scot A shrewd buyer, on being told that handkerchiefs were two for a quarter, said, "How much is one?" "Fifteen cents." "Well, gimme the other one." Chevy Circle Even More Caller--"fs your mother engag- ed?" Betty--"I think she's married." Judge. Fixing the Blame Margaret is only. seven years ohl, but sometmaes qmte naughty. On one occasion her mother, hoping to be particularly inpressive, said, "Don't you know that if you keep on doing so many naughty things your children will be naughty, too?" Margaret dimpled and cried triumphantly, "Oh, mother, now you've given yourself away !"- Everybody's Magazine. 141 =V Bad Case A psychiatric board was testing the mentality of a negro soldier. "Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the sound comes from?" "Yes, suh," answered the negro. "And when does this occur?" "Over de radio." Clever Deduction "Say, ain't yon de feller vat I met in Philadelphia ?" I I "Philadelphia ? I ain't never been dere." "Vell, neider have I. I guess it nmst have been two odder fellers." --Colgate Banter. John Smith, having been injured in i . a street car accident, had sued the eOZllpany. One day he met a friend who asked: "Can't you get along without the use of crutches, John?" "My doctor says 1 can, but mv law- ver says 1 can't." It Was Make your porch Walk slowly, stranger, past this post, For here is buried Adam Yost. attractive with .e took a drink of home-made stuff To see if it was old enough. some of these beau= Neurieh: Be sure you geta good- looking nurse for tile baby. Mrs. tiful colored lan= ~e,,r,ch: ,Vhv? Neurich: I want him to have poiice protection.--Medley terns. We have TEN YEARS AGO--OH, BOY' I them for you at 95c I Three tuna were hanging on the and others, slightly rack and the tired angler was having his picture taken on the pleasure pier damag.ed, at a spe= at Avalon the other day. "Look pleasant,please!"said the I cml price of 49c. photogral,her ,Click ! No wonder he didn't look pleasant !" exploded a stout lady. "His conscience I hurt him. Him letting three big fish HEYWOOD,S like them tow hina around until they lose their lives! If I was ten years younger I'd try to whiI) him with that The Best Reason for Buying in Avalon rod." 116 Sumner Avenue, Opposite Atwater Hotel Around the Corner--But is Pays to Walk. Renew youg subscription to The Catalina Islander, $2 per year. DROVE INTO SWARM OF After That Experience Cong~ Will Probably Do His in a Railroad CoaCh. Bullets are better than beeS. safer to be an aviator apiarist. Ttmse are the conclusions gressman Royal Johnson of S. D., former first lieutenaIlt Three Hundred and fantry, Seventy-ninth division, Despite his army service, still likes camp life, so recently with the propositioll ting the family back to South from Washington he expeditionary force of three boys and his bulldog forth with the family flivver couple of pup tents. All went well---or as well as ordinarily go with tin-can until they reached Miss(intl. they were putting along, all danger, catastrophe them out of a clear sky. Just that. For without warning, pre~ or advance notice of any collided full tilt wltll a swar~ grating Missouri honey heeS. The open windshield in by the scores and indiscriminately over driver, bulldog. Space and vocabulary are ited to describe the ensuing When the tourists finally swollen, but not with pride --tim flivver was the only expeditioa still, in running Sensitive Soul.