Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
July 30, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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July 30, 1924

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PAGE TWELVE 66 CATALINA HARDWARE COMPANY Crude Some Famous Ships Ships are the world's biggest asset. Fellow-SHIP greets the world with a big handclasp and apprecia- tion. Friend-SHIP weathers all storms and carries men into the harbor of understanding. More big successful men are get- ting aboard these ships every day. Whence Those Dulcet Stains London Opinion: We are all said to suffer from mental disorders at some time or other, and some peo- ple are unscrupulous enough to write them down in the form of popular songs. The Only Thing Possible Book Agent: "Now here is a wonderful book entitled, 'How I Fanned for Profit." Farmer Bitters: "I ain't got no time to read fiction whatever." Easy for Pete Boy (reading thriller) : "Say, Pete what's a stoic ?" Other Boy: "Gee, Sam, but you're dumb, a stoi~: is a bold what brings babies." Natural Tit-Bits: Wife--"D'ye know you- 're growing quite handsome, John ?" Husband--Yes, Mary; it's a way I have when it gets anywhere near your birthday." Nor Poker. Athletic hint--Never play football with your mouth open. When you brush your teeth you might find an extra ear.--Froth. Gin--Shay c'n you tell me where th' other shide of shtreet ish ? Whiskey--Sherry, o1' man, but I'm a shtranger in town.--Hamilton [ THE CATALINA ISLANP I MICKIE )4~N$~ 9A~ER ~kl WE -~i Royal Gaboon. So e Horse. WHY i WORKF-P ~1 "Don't be afraid of him. He's as What ,tlrl~]~ gentle as a woman !" "Er--thanks. I guess I won't ride you a rnm~ this morning ["--Record. IIonaire? My wife. ,~l, English Joke! Well, We Laughed Ah, her ~*- Turn them lose in a Lady _Astor:"Ho hum. Its a ful help. IIl~ Nothin~ ",~ small world." that. I was J"~ WARM, ALL WOOL Margot Asquith (nose in air)-- "Small ? Positively stuffy." knowPlY curloU~lif tl~j0 was any Irl~O,P~ Trouble Brewing Here she couldnq~ I"" JANTZEN , from the program of the beyond. College Club Schol!,arship benefit: Harvard Man--Ire a friend l'd like you girls to meet." ~ ~He hates to see me looklnfl~ hBryn Mawr Girl-"How much has The Family Doctor. Cel~ Remarked old Mister Procter, .,* BATHING SUIT Wellesley Girl-"What can he do? "And yet 'us not so very sirsr Radchffe Gwl- What does he For he's our family doctor." read ? The Special Jantzen Vassar Girl-"Who are iris faro- Giles Buys a Mattress. . ~' ily ?" Giles (buying furnitm'e for b~ ' construction prevents Holyoke Girl-"What church does ture home)--I want a mattreSS. (fl i he belong to?" ,, chilis Smith Girl-"Where is he?--St. Shop Asslstant---Ye~, sir; a ~p Louis Post-Dispatch. mattress? I ~ Giles--No; one we can u~e ~l Our Tired Business Men. Fear round.--London Tlt-Bll:s. Lots of business men who are too tired to ride three blocks to work Saves Cost of Presents. .~ will drive seventy-five miles to "Do you keep birthdays at 1 their favorite golf course.--Widow, home?" asked the friend. .~ "Yes," replied the father of ~e," I All Is Lost unmarried daughters, "a secret." 95 ~4 50 $5 50 It was a fashionable wedding. The bridegroom had no visible Vaudeville. , means of support save his father, - You are no good as acrobatS, o~ ~ who was rich. "Then bill our act as a C~" When he came to the stage of tlanee."--Llfe. the service where he had to repeat, But Not Too Good. ,, _IEYWOOD,S "With ,all my worldly goods I thee endow, his father said, in a whis-"~hy did you ask those peeP" ----~- ~ per that could be heard all over walt, Marie?" p the church: "Heavens! There goes "I wanted to see if you we~ The Best Reason for Buying in Avalon U his fishing rod !" madam." Sumner Avenue, Opposite Atwater Hotel "A good maid can always tell A~ound the ComeP--But is Pays to Walk. Renew your subscription to The the look of callers whether tress Is In or out." Catalina Islander, $2 per year. A Slight Error. t~rrl~11 Tessle--That Jones glrl is dun]bell. Jessie---What makes you say Tessie--She thinks that a Is one that makes friends other a~nhrmls. "That man called me a -"Just one man called you tba get it. I'm called that by of men every day and I don't attention to them." "You don't? What's your "I'm a baseball umpire." Used to It. **What are you so sore abOut? ~