Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
Lyft
June 18, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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June 18, 1924
 

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,l PAGE TWELVE THE CATALINA ISLe"| Refine, Cru de ---| THIS WEEK ONLY To Introduce Two New Patterns of We Are Offering 40-PIECE DECORATED SETS FOR REGULAR PRICE, $12.50 O These Patterns Are Carried in Open Stock So that You May Fill in at Any Time CATALINA HARDWARE COMPANY Thoughtful of Her a woman went to buy some cigars ior her husband, who was laid up. "1)o you want tllem miht or strong, madam ?" asked the tobacconist. "Give me the strongest you have," she said. "The last ones he broke in his pocket."--Bristol (Eng.) News. Cheap and Handy Rush--What's your idea of a piker ? Hour--A fellow who travels in the subway to get his clothes pi"est."--Life. How It's Done "Do you," the telephonc company in- quires, "ohserve the golden rule of party-line usage ?" Absolutely; if the other party's talk- ing, we jiggle the receiver hook and make wise cracks until he gets dis- couraged and quits.--Bnffalo Express, Feed 'Eva Bait A hog can be tolled for miles and into the pen by stringing along some- thing to eat.. A secret, girls! Same is true of most men,--Capper's Farmer. Plant One Before the dawn of the Motor-car age, a passing motorist picked Ul) a farmer who had never before seen an automobile. The farmer was duly im- prest and delighted. To impress him still fitorc, the motorist put his foot on the accelerator and for SiX or scvcn mil~s they tore along iikc the wind. Then somcthing went wrong with the steering-gear and they ran into a tree. The farmer and motorist alighted un- hurt on a bank of moss. The cat" was not damaged. "That was fine," said the farmer, as he v or up. "We sartinly went the pace. Tell me this, tho--how do you stop her when there ain't no trees?" --The Haptist. Princely Make-up She--Aren't you wearing a costume I to the mask ball tonight ? tie--Yes, I'm going to wear nay arm in a sling and go as the Prince of I Wales.--Record. Off and On i ~ "You give your clerks two weeks' i vacation every year, don't you, Mr. Tintack ?" asked the friend. "A month," grunted the eminent i hardware dealer. "A month ?" "Yes. The two weeks when I go on nay vacation and two weeks when they go on theirs."--Good Hardware. Doubling Lip ~VANTED--\Vork in a Christian home by October 16 for myself and horse. " \Villiam Brown, Boonville, Rout 2.--Classified ad in Boonville (N. Y.) Herald. Everybody Happy First Sport--Hey, lend me ten dol; lars, will you, old man ? I'm hard prest. Second Sport--No, but I can tell you how we can b'6th make five dollars. First Sport--Let's bare it. Second Sport--I'll give you five dof lars."--Punch Bowl. Better After than Before But, darling, don't you want to mar- ry a man who is economical ? I suppose so; but it's awful being COME IN engaged to one.--Flamingo. AND GET YOURS Putting in the Class NOW "Waiter, what is this on the bill. "Bungalow fluff, sir, at forty cents a portion." I "But what is it?" J EYWOOD'S_________. fifteen."--Judge."Frmerly cottage pudding, sir, at Some Head! The Best Rusou for Buyin| in Avalon BILLBOARD SCORED, 116 Summsr Avmue, Opposite Atwater Hotel BY AUTOISTS HEAD Armmd the Comar--But is Pays to Walk. --Headline from Philadelphia Public Ledger. "That 'cellist says he h# remarkable success." "Draws the long boW, of Horse On Him "Yns--.'e's ahnost too now. Y'see, he's the have thrown the Prince[: sin~ Show (London). The Silver Lining The following, relayed by stein, editor of Dos Yaddi' thus far wins the 1924 Gran It was "'Pisha b'Av," midst of the lamentations Jew who had been cessful in recent real tions, turned to his neighbOl ed: "Why all the weeping ing-on ?" "\Vhy, it's 'Tisha b'Av,' sary of the destruction of the other answered with "Yes. yes, I know," a former, "the destruction o but 1 don't understand a ing. Isn't the lot worth --Thc Jewish Tribune. Too Fresh \\:hat's the matter ? l wrote an article on lr~ the editor condensed One Drawback Musician (doing badly men, if wc all 'ad our be ridin' in me own carriage done before. Skeptic--Yus, but your mother couldn't push you don Hnmorist. ____-.- Keep Down Costs "Why did Ikey invite only peo.ple to his wedding?" "Well, in that way he all the presents would be --Record. Serious She--Aren't you sick of these jokes about liquor? He--Yes, nothing seems to to the humorists toda3 MICKIIE "11 I]lr i Imr ii ............. Jl =11[ if1/Ifl ............................................................... .....