Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
Lyft
May 21, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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May 21, 1924
 

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PAGE TWELVE 'THE CATALINA ISLAP [] ~yNo ~,ouble "to keep Con oleum cleart-- .a ltlamp We have a variety of Artistic, Easily Cleaned Rugs, from which you will be able to select just what you want, for that extra room. POPULAR SIZES--POPULAR PRICES CATALINA HARDWARE COMPANY Refin Crude Nothing Doing A school-teacher had found her class of boys reluctant in their writing of English compositions. At last she conceived a .vreat idea to stimulate their interest~to write an account of a ball game. [t seemed that she was successful. \ith one exception, the boys threw themseh'es at the ta~k and" evolved youthful masterpieces. The backward one chewed reluctantly at his pen and was then struck by a burst of genius. When the teacher opened his paper, it read: "Rain--no game."--The Ameri- can Legion "Weekly. As Bad as That FOR SALE OR TRADE--DODGE touring car in good condition for cat- tle or hogs.--Classified ad in the Liv- ingston (Mont.) Enterprise. She has no dreamy eyes of blue Nor smiles beyomf compare No luscious lips to tease you No weahh of golden hair, There's a thousand others like her For every one divine; I don't know why I like her But she's mine, ,all mine. Her teeth are like a hayrake Her hair like binder twine Nobody else will take her So she's mine, all mine. --Notre Dame Juggler. All a Mistake "What are you so indignant about ?" "They fined me for selling whisky," replied the bootlegger, "when it wasn't whisky at all."--Life. The Higher the Fewer Conversation between husbands when wages for wives take effect: "What do you pay y'our wife?" "A hundre(l dollars a. month, but you've no idea how hard it is to keel) a good one."--Spokane Spokesman- Review. HE'S R ! GI--iT ~he--gou're araid to come i1 and kiss me like they do tn the J He--Yes, but look at the them fellows get for taking The Pea Soup DECKHAND DROWNS 11~ DESPITE HERO'S --Headline in the Philadelpt He--What do you say to a moon in Europe.~ She--But, dearest, you kn0~' afraid I am of seasickness. "Yes, but you ought to love is the best remedy "Perbal)s--but--think trip."--Korsaren (Christiania. Nuts, Too ! A well-known ~loctor recent' the statement that food affec appearance. \\% personally fruit for life.--Blue Baboon. Patient--Doctor, there's the matter with my breathing' Doctor--\Vell, we'll soon stOP --Georgia Cracker. Those Candid Friends The Author (Posing)--"Wht far into the night i find culty in getting to sleep." The Friend--"Then why read over what you've Klods Hans (Christiania). "He has a great faculty for the cart before the horse." "Oh, I wonhln't say that; say Not So Good a habit of trying to make the I "Good news," said the ofliCelbOV. "I run the motor."--Auto Ma can hear the art editor laughing.'] "But that was not a comic drawing," , Pe~tennted sighed the artist-in-waiting.--Louisville Courier-lournal. 'l understand that Mrs. Bin married her husband to spite ; Wolnan," a Long Time on the Road . "Yes. She did them both i He (durit~g tile interval)--\Vhat (lid turn. I'm ~;oin:a 1o marry Bitlg~ yon say your age was. he :acts his"div()rce." She (smartlv)--\Vell, 1 didn't say: but l've just reached twentv-one. " He--Is thatAnswers.SO? \Vhat dt;taincd you ?, MICKIE SAYS--" "There shouhl be a long spring this year." I~ "~'0 gDf~glO I~Okl~"~4 I "How's that ?" gll4~kl ~ " 'Cause it'sLeap Year."--Notre ])ame Juggler. I:::IXX ~lk~4K/ke.~ot31,,IT I His Careless Ways P-.g:CON~NIKblD ol::'EglDlldl~ l~ "When you fonnd you hadn't your ~gj OOLL/x~2.a l=Oi:b ~k faic did the condnctor make you get 0~(~ off anti walk?" asked the inquisitive "Ukfa ,~0~. "HEpl" I --All the 1923 records of the man. "Only get off," was the sad reply. ~laj()r and Minor League "He didn't seem to care whether I i walked or sat down."---The Christian I ~}tll)S withthe revised 1924 Evangelist. )1 Ix ino ' ' ' t ~. g rules, lhls book usu- "Only one man beats thelawof compensation ?" ally sells at 10c a copy, but we ','Who is he ?" ~__ 'The undertaker." hax,,e a limited number that we i Complete Equipment ! I arc' going t() give you free. W'ANTED--An experienced aviator to train me to handle plane. State Come in and get vours, terms in first letter. I furnish plane, field and fool. B. G. Tharingtotl, Creek, N. C.--Want ad in the Raleigh 9 (N. C.) News and Observer. OI,~.W': HEYWOOD S M,'s, Newlywed--You never . bring The Best Reason for Buying in Avalon me candy like you used to before we 116 Sumner Avenue, Opposite Atwater Hotel were married. Sold Spouse--That so--well, you Around the Corner--But is Pays to Walk. never heard of a fisherman feed'ing bait to a fish after he had caught it, did you ?--Chaparral. ~'-"