Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
Lyft
May 7, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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May 7, 1924
 

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PAGE TWELVE THE CATALINA ISL Household Tools THE FIRST COMPLETE LINE OF TOOLS BUILT ESPECIALLY TO ANSWER THE PRECISE NEEDS OF THE HOUSEHOLDER ATTRACTIVELY FINISHED EXCELLENT OUALITY POPULARLY PRICED On Display This Week CATALINA HARDWARE COMPANY i i i i e n i1~ Refine d Crude Mike Promised "Mike" aml "Scotty" went fishing with "Yellowtail John]" it is reported. Mike fell overboard from the bow of the boat, and, as the launch passed him, he grabbed "Scotty's" bait and hook. "Reel him in, queek !' exclaimed John. 'I winna save him till he makes a pronfise to pay for theline if it breaks," retorted the Scot. "When a kettle is up to its neck in hot water it continues to sing," says Harry Diffin. Quick, Boatman, the Gaff! Ed Abbott, secretary of the new Catalina Yacht Club, tells this one: A very self-satisfied man arrived at the pearly gates and asked for admit- tance. "Where are you from?" questioned Peter. "Catalina !" "Well, you can come in here; but you won't like it after living at Cat- alina," Peter is reported to have said. It costs more than double to live a double life. Perfectly Safe "John t John! the boat is leaking!" exclaimed an excited wife, who was spending her first night on board the new yacht. "Why should you u,*orry about that ? .Ain't these state rooms water-tight?" "Yellowtail John" wants to know why Jacob used a ladder when he could have gone up the golden stairs or used his wings. Useful As Food Mickev--"D?hat's the difference beT, tween a'swordfish and a Scotchman?' Scotty, Brown--"I bite." Mickev--"Yer kin eat swordfish when th'ey're dead!" 0 --London Opinion. Careless Tailor 0 i I'll, National . The young wife sat plying her need- le. A'coat of her husband's was in SrDflgllrllSN~ Stlit ~ her lap. As the husband appeared, she said, fretfullv: "It's too bad, the careless way the "tailor sewed this but- ton on, 'I~his is the fifth time I've ihad to put it hack for you."--Peaa'son Weekly. Listen to the only one knocker-- Opportunity. Ignorance Is Bliss A letter from Palm Beach: "New York is full of restaurants advertising,,- Southern cooking. In the Florida re- sorts I see restaurants advertising northern cooking. Is there no part of the country that dares to brag about its cooking at home, where they know it. --New ~ork Tunes. HEYWOOD:_s I "You know, I just love to visit the cemetery." The Bast Reason for Buying in Avalon "Why, is there some one dead ?" 116 Sumner Avenue, Opposite Atwater Hotel "Yes. All, of them.': Around the Corner--But is Pays to Walk. "For Rent' and i'For Sale" signs are on sale at Windle s News Stand. er all, it may be only a hat. A Timely Epitaph. For Julius Jinks Let'.~ kneel in prayer; He told a cop To take the air. JOKES (Continued from Page 11, Don't frown and give the thirl.ga Just laugh--don't be too wise! --PontUS Neal--"That burglar insulted ~ Coffey--"How ?" Neal--"He demanded my my life !" Coffey--"Wdl ?" Neal--"All I had was five he took that in preference." Tom--'Tin trying to grow tache, and I wax wondering it will be when it comes out. Freshie--"At the rate it is I should think it will be You can always tell a you can't tell him much. Grocer--"Did you say Ivory Ed Feltrop--"Yes. 1 want my head." Kay--"Oh, guess what father' about you last night ?" John Minnev--'I havent an the world." V0Oi=.--.___~0~ !'' " .all ~ '! .... '-0~0t~:~001=~00:~1~0~00C~001~ In Practice Kay--"Oh, shame! You Poker--Won't your wife miss vou ? I Chip--No, she's a pretty fair s'hot.-- Both Happy , Froth, Penn. State. " "I'd rather fish than eat,' -- the enthusiastic rodman. Much Misery "W'hat does your wife saY Margaret was surveying herself in that ?" questioned the fair one. 5 ~ the mirror with satisfaction. "I won- "Nothing. She'd rathcr dreS der how many men will be miserable cook, retflicd the angler. I when I marry ?" she nmsed. "That all depends on how many Subscribe now--~ per year. men you intend to marry," rejoine~t Joe. MICKI,E SAYS-- Both of Them .~/~E~ kqtS~ "~O A ~Ew "~hat made you marry daddy, mummy ?" " " } ~MOC-KER,o IM "fl41~o "1 ' v t f 'So you'r beginning to wonder, .oo/' I ~ A~LIT ~0~