Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
Lyft
April 23, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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April 23, 1924
 

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PAGE TWELVE N b a The New Improved A HOUSEHOLD NECESSITY OUTSTANDING efil Crude Visiting Business Acquaintances First Burglar--What sort of luck did you have on that last safe-blowing job you was going to pull? THE CATALINA ISLI' COSTLY NAKEDNEl a EVERY HOUSEWIFE SHOULD OWN. EIGHT SHEET CAPACITY SWINGING WRINGER PERFECTLY SAFE GAS HEATER SILENT AND DURABLE COPPER TUB ALUMINUM CYLINDER INEXPENSIVE TO OPERATE CASH -- OR -.-.----TERMS $175.00 I I I! I i i | ..... ,, . ,,., ,, .,, .. ,* i f , ii i i I I i The National S mming Suit Second Do--Chees it, chees it, I no "Do society women I sooner sets down my tools to look over the place till somebody swipes 'era rule in dressing?"~ | and when I gets out looking for them "To be sure they do--m0rt~shed, less clothes!" |al ~e, I gets my pocket pieked.--Goblin. |1~. (~ Emotional THIS WIFE OF MI~ "Sonic anglers are too emotional." Many a thing she ma-~kes me d~ h- "Yes; you should hear mv husband This wife of nfine; le t,[M/~t- when the line breaks t" " Many a place she drags t~ Got His Reference This wife of nfine; ~._--" Many a time she won't obeY,]k''~ "I am leaving your sales department.Most of the time. I ought to ~t lel and would like the customary refer- This wife of mine. [ ence, exclaimed a clerk in one of Av- And yet I sort of like, some ~ alon's stores last sunniler, Whereupon the proprietor of the d store wrote the following, and passed 3,[any a time she's called me dI it over to the embarrassed clerk: ]'his wife of mine; ,~[ "To whom it may concern: This Many a time she does it bro~[ will certify that Mr.- has been ']'his wife of nfine; i in our employ for the past six months.Many a time with folks about, i "A, We have always found him punctual Many a tuuetinle shes right n at"t "'t she bawls nleo~!~%~ at meal and quitting times. He has Many a also been a very good entertainer for This wife of mine. tar our lady customers." i~h .",/any a time she costs a lot, ~'m , Rough Stuff This wife of mine; ~et 'I thought Mr. Bland was a greatTakes about all that I've got, a~k angler." This wife of mine; L "Well, he would be, if hispress Many a time she makes a hatJ ~an, agent didn't drink so much." Making nay bank account look !e.e And, she does it in no time at i~h A Plain Question This wife of mine. ~ltl: Lawyer (to "rattled" witness--Did . . ;. . you, or did you not, on the aforemen- . . '. i tioned day, Tuesday, January 19, 1896, feloniously and with malice afore- thought, listen at the keyhole of the third floor rear apartment, then occu- pied as a residence by the defendant in this action, on Nineteenth street neat Park avenue, and did you not al- so, on the Friday following the Tues- day in January, 1896, comnmnicate to your wife the information acquired and repeat the conversation overheard as a result of your eavesdropping on that occasion, with the result that the gos- sip of your wife gave wide and far currency to the overheard conversa- tion before mentioned? Did you, or did you not ? Answer "Yes" or "No." Witness--"Huh ?" --Life. Lady--Really, sir, your prices are exorbitant. Farmer--Well, ma'am, when a feller has to know the botanical name of what he grows, the zoological name 'o the hinsect wet eats it, 'n' the chemical name 'o wot kills the hinsect, some-MICKI~E SAYS--" one's got to pay for ft.--Mugwump. ~ ~q A Right Hook {AS ~OOD *MOOCd4" ,~_ ,; g, ,Who gave Jones that black eye?" ~ 1~114'~4OP! ~ DO OO1~.~ 'Dempsey. Jones tried to say he --5~ kI was a big fish because he wasn't ns- [D~$r O1,1 AI, L. ,.)O05!.~ ing his kind of bait." ] "~M~"~ ~HY 'WE ~W SO 1~. "Have you any invisible hooks ?" Boatman (thrusting his great hands into his pocket, started to grin, but replied)--"Yes." "Please let me see one," pleaded the new angler Whereupon the boatman reached for the gaff, so that it would be handy if the angler fell overboard. A Tale of the 'Eighties On a certain occasion a pompous mayor of some provincial town, a fel- low passenger in the train, took off his boots and put his feet up on the seat in front. There was a lady pas- senger in the carriage. "Put on your boots, sir," said Hugh Drummond, in the presence of a lady." .;;,::za-a:HEYWOOD'So;;:a; A;=;: I "I'm d--d if I will," said the pas- senger, with some heat at being so addressed. ....... At which the first speaker seized .i.,k., ,i~... m....^n fo. n..~_., .__Anl,,.. the abandoned boots, and, dropping them out of the window, exclaimed: 116 $ r Hotel "Then I'm d------d if you shall!" Around the Corner---But is Pays to Walk. --Trifles and Travels. Subscribe now--S2 per year. ili7:iiiili:l: : + il-II"'l :- ............. ]i II ........ : "';" + ....... ' .........................................