Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
Lyft
April 16, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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April 16, 1924
 

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i{: PAGE TWELVE n Announcing the THE MOTOR NO OTHERS DARE FOLLOW TWIN CYLINDERS NO VIBRATION BOSCH IGNITION ZENITH CARBURETOR MOTORCYCLE CONTROL " FREE TILTING LIGHT WEIGHT DIRECT DRIVE LOW PRICED A ROWBOAT MOTOR THAT HAS NO EQUAL Now on Disvlay Refined Crude Broken in Young Man--Sir. I would like to marry :,'our daughter." Proud Father--My boy, do you think you are experienced enough to meet the trials of married life ? Y. M.--Yes, sir. I own a Ford and a parrot. Dentist (adjusting wrench to Ford car)--Easy, now, this is going to hurt just a little.--Mugwump. Long Distance, Pleas~ "Are you sure these "field-glasses are high power?" asked the lady potential customer. "Madam," replied the ambitious clerk, "when you use these glasses anything .less than ten nfiles away looks like it's behind you."--American Legion. "What has become of the still small voice ?" "Perhaps it needs a loud speaker."-- Louisville Courier-Journal. Ship Ahoy ! The steamship Montana, with broken stearing-gear, has been towed into Halifax by the steamship Poland . . . Only one passenger is aboard of the Poland. This passenger is a woman belonging to New York, who was on her way to Europe. It is understood that she is suffering from illness, brot on by tier rough experience. A survey was hekt yesterday and a diver will go down this morning to learn if her stern post or rudder is damaged. The Poland sailed last night for Antwerp. --From a news item in the Halifax Herald. THE CATALINA ISLA A CONNOI$SI=UR I Old-Man Turtle--My, hut piece batlHng suits are stylish. A Hard Battle "I saw a man hanging on to empty keg a while ago about out to sea. He couhln't swim nearly drowned." "Did you have much trouble i~ ing the rescue ?" "A little. I had to hit him head with an oar to make him but I finally got the keg Bayonne News. Wife--Do you realize that v~ n't ktssed me for over a month., Absent-minded Prof.--Good Then who is it I have been \Vhirlwind. Irish Chauffeur Jake--If we get killed the gets killed also. Ikey--Don't be a damn fool; to drive slower. What does man care for his life if he can Jews ?--The Sportsman. Son (reading)--Pop, what is~' estrian ? Pop--A pedestrian, my son, raw material for an wump. A NA HAFII] AFIE MPAN ~Villianl\Vriglev's announcement that Madge--~Vhy did you kiss mel he has quit as Johnson's backer atawkward way? " least gives the Senator something to Ted--It wasn't my fault, yot chew on.--New York Heraht-Tribune. n't your lips on straight.~'" iN IN Educ.tion Comes igh Woo n,an = --" ---'---~0 ~ K~I::~gI~I an American friend, "that the Yankees Denhst--What zs your busme" get on so well in business, while many Victim--Oh, I'm a humorous ~ "Brains, my bov !" was the reph', your idea of my profession. "You shonhteat "more fish. Give nle five dollars and I'll get you some of Likened to the Komono ! ~ /~/f~f~ "/~ ~k~ I the fish that mY v'qfe gets fr me" Eat Mrs'--I nmst dress at nee' it and see how VOtl get on)' ]'he Browns are coming this e The Englishn~an parted with his fiveto make us a visit.Should I P dollars and the fish was sent to him. the percolator? dl Next day he met the Yank again. "HowMr.--Don't bother, you're I ~ ~ ~ / did Yuget n ?" the Yankee asked gd enugh the way YU are" " "\Veil, it was splendid fish !" "Do you feel any different ?" . o, I can t .av [ feel any (hfferent, I said the English],,an, "butfive dollars f ~O~N'fIMt~S ~OI.KS~'1411,1g was a lot for a piece of fish, wasn't/A Rt~g)(:~.~lT~lS k~llZOLkl~ it?" "There vou are !" said the Yankee. / I3IEC..L)~ M,E. b, SK~ o0 ~/~t~/ ~ ~ ~ ~-~l~ "Your brain is beginning to work al-[ (~DESTIQ~4~ > Bkyl, [.4~ l=ii, l~ readv."--Paeific \Voodman. [ t4K I41~coT~, OO W ~: ~4~. ~1/~ g ~ ~d~ I''Jnah nmst have been a high-pric- "'T~ ~A'V ~'U N~4t~--'~ t'~ " ]~1[ 1 ed lawyer, wasn't he, pa ?" V~lCk ~t,~~ ~'T ~t"~ ~.$~.1i "What nmkes you think so ?" ~ ....... "The whale couldn't retain him."--~ /- Who's Afraid? 'l'f ~EL" SI~NEW l One night at a theatre some scenery ' Nt'~ ~ ] i[ G] /IS took fire and the smell of burning al- ~& / armed the audience. A panic seemed I:)F-R| " -- imminent, when a comedian appeared on the stage. 00l:e~l~h;:~lT~r~oEoWr $_S~ ;: :2c~h ~ AwTTdLR2 ~A "Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "compose yourselves. There is no e moskeag and is no danger." The audience did not see,,, reassured. I ieYyUr:ivllerHYEey~~;ri;;tttsY "Ladies and gentlemen," continued the comedian, rising to the occasion, bring and "confound it all; do you think if there t was any d~nger I'd be here ?" The panic collapsed.--Chicago News. It's There New Yorker--I supl)ose the citizens of your town have plenty of public S Middle West--Well, you can get it if you know how, but 1 wouldn't go so far as to call it public.--American Le- gion \Veekly.