PAGE TWELVE
Time to Make Things New
Again--With Paints
and Varnish
Wig ARE all ready with the best sorts of
Paints and Brushes--Varnishes, Stains,
Floor Wax, and all kinds of Paint Removers
and Cleaners.
Then a whole special collection of Paints,
Cleaners and Polishes for Automobiles.
Come in and let us help you select the best
kinds for your requirements.
CATALINA HARllWAFIE COMPANY
rt . r, 7'I/IIVCIIESTfR sro
THE CATALINA ISLA]
Crude
Absolutely, Mr. Shean
An initable old sportsman was
aroused from his bed at 3 o'clock in
the morning by the insistent ringing
of his doorbell. On answering he TOO MODEST L
foundto maintaina seedYhisdrnnkardposition.Struggling hard Bug: Shucks, every time Iir~hlishe(
"What do you mean by waking nle kiss Miss Snail, she goes ~ WSpapq
shell. ~Uhlicati~
up at this hour?" --~--"~----ra
pS0ball
"lsh you, .'kit. Snfithers ?"
"Yes, yes. What of it ?" His Girl s a Dumbdo ,~
"Ish you the gent what ~lvertised "Does your sweet mama kn0~[ P,L..
" ~ Ill;e,
for a partner to go lion huntin' in thing about automobiles?' ~...~e,
Africa? .... I should say not. She asked ~1
• bY
night if I cooled the eng,ne "1 S~
"Yes, I'm the gentleman. What do ping l, he gears." i ~'~
you want to know about it ?"
"Nothin', 'ceptin' 1 just wanted to
tell you that on no condishuns what- Synonymous Ill_~
ever will I go with you."--Boll Wevil. a shq, with no rudder. ~!~
I!1
A walk with no destination. II I~tr
Enlightenment An automobile with no steeringll ~r~
Fishbone--"Who was Ruth ?" A horse without a bridle.
T-Bone--"Masculine or femine?" An organization with no big ob~l "
A business that does not adve~Ill •
Practicable
The best law: The Golden Rule.
The best education: .Self-knowledge
The best science: Extracting sun-
shine from a rainy day.
The best mathenmtics: Multiplying
the joys and dividing the sorrows of
others.
The best art: Painting a ~mile upon
the face of a ehiht.
The best music: The laughter of
happy children.
--The Kablegram,
Pat--Oi wouldn't throw ye a rope if
ye was drownin'
Mike--Oi wouldn't touch it if ye did.
--Exchange.
One for Pat
An Irishman was seated in a train
beside a pompous individual who was
accompanied by a dog.
"Foine dog yc have," said the Irish-
man. "Phwat kind is it ?"
"A cross between an Irishman and
She Wanted to Know Jl
Little Girl--Mother, when do t~l
dians come on ? /]
Mother---Why, there are no 1~
in this play. 1|_
Little Girl--Then who sea pc]
those men in the front row?~'~
Opinion.
This Kinda Bends in the MI~
"Santa Claus played a dirty
the bowlegged girls, didn't
"Why ?"
"See what he put in their
ings !"--E×.
The Lesser Evil
"Why didn't you stop when
nalled you ?" inquired the officer
"Well," replied Mr. ChugginS,
taken me two hours to get t~
flivver started, and it seemed
to stop her merely to avoid
thing like being arrested."--Ex.
an ape," the man replied.
Cipheritia
IIG=l~lOtll:~Subscribe now--S2 per year•
"Shure, an' it's related to bothof The last return of the ReiCh:
us !"--Exchange. gave the total German note cir¢0
I il---- as92,844,720,742,927,000,OOOr~
Insanity the Better Word nearly ninety-three quintillions.
Broadmindedness is the ability to ~~
grin when another fellow pets the girl The Measure of a Man
you brought to the party.--Mercury. Not--
"How did he die?"
~"J'3ISt'~ll Jk ~q,.~iF1;l~Z~ Dla.,y Madame, What Size.'/ But--
Select twelve men whose wives are "How did he live ?"
suits present Ask them to remove their ---Excha !
collars, ties and collar buttons. Place
all the haberdashery thus collected on
the
speakers table. Then, at a given MICKIE SAYS-- A
pick their respective husband's be- ~EO
IN
BLUE
DENIM,
KHAIKI OR STRIPES After [ ~ ~I~kVI3F t't'q ~I~VOW~
At the dentist's office..) ~O ~ M~-N4 stORK_ ___'14 ~ stO~#~
MUCH
BETTER
LOOK-
Smith--You
give me the laughing gas ~) X'O LOtaOOkt 'U P~Ik~$.',~.~'ffttX]~
after you get the tooth. I won't feel [ OE~T t4k)~ t4~'I'kBZEt. ",II, t'~
ING THAN THE OLD like laughing otherwise. ] ME~O4~MT ~14T I¢~OJM4, Hp:~
k_
STYLE PLAY SUIT , , Would they Stay? ) OE~o~f IA~Tt.~ ~bk, "f~A'
} 'n
AND THEY WEAR 'Who s in that henhouse, shouted
the irate owner, as, hearing a noise in ~ ~t~.~tEco$ ~I'It4OUT "IMtz)&!
• JUST AS WELL the night, he rushed out and aimed a t
s oot °t at th oor,
~,,MJ~, I~ "Ain't nobuddv in here," responded a
faint and tremb'ling voice from the in-
£ Kt s, ........
• de. Am t nobuddy, sah, ceptm just
us chickens.--Exchange.
There are so many people who know
what isn't so, and stick to these beliefs
against every argument, that the man
who really knows and disseminates his
knowledge has a great opportunity to ~F.,
H E_ y W__,-, 0 D, make his power felt.--A Booster. "O~_~.
,, Fired Him
Hank-- My brother sure was a dumb
The Best Reason for Buy'ng in Avalon guy."
Frank--"How's that ?"
116 Sumner Avenue, Opposite Atwater Hotel Hank--"Why, they had to burn down
Around the Cortmr--But is Pay, to Walk. the schoolhouse to get him out of the
first grade !"--SunDial.
