Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
March 12, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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March 12, 1924

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PAGE TWELVE Time to Make Things New Again--With Paints and Varnish Wig ARE all ready with the best sorts of Paints and Brushes--Varnishes, Stains, Floor Wax, and all kinds of Paint Removers and Cleaners. Then a whole special collection of Paints, Cleaners and Polishes for Automobiles. Come in and let us help you select the best kinds for your requirements. CATALINA HARllWAFIE COMPANY rt . r, 7'I/IIVCIIESTfR sro THE CATALINA ISLA] Crude Absolutely, Mr. Shean An initable old sportsman was aroused from his bed at 3 o'clock in the morning by the insistent ringing of his doorbell. On answering he TOO MODEST L foundto maintaina seedYhisdrnnkardposition.Struggling hard Bug: Shucks, every time Iir~hlishe( "What do you mean by waking nle kiss Miss Snail, she goes ~ WSpapq shell. ~Uhlicati~ up at this hour?" --~--"~----ra pS0ball "lsh you, .'kit. Snfithers ?" "Yes, yes. What of it ?" His Girl s a Dumbdo ,~ "Ish you the gent what ~lvertised "Does your sweet mama kn0~[ P,L.. " ~ Ill;e, for a partner to go lion huntin' in thing about automobiles?' ~...~e, Africa? .... I should say not. She asked ~1 bY night if I cooled the eng,ne "1 S~ "Yes, I'm the gentleman. What do ping l, he gears." i ~'~ you want to know about it ?" "Nothin', 'ceptin' 1 just wanted to tell you that on no condishuns what- Synonymous Ill_~ ever will I go with you."--Boll Wevil. a shq, with no rudder. ~!~ I!1 A walk with no destination. II I~tr Enlightenment An automobile with no steeringll ~r~ Fishbone--"Who was Ruth ?" A horse without a bridle. T-Bone--"Masculine or femine?" An organization with no big ob~l " A business that does not adve~Ill Practicable The best law: The Golden Rule. The best education: .Self-knowledge The best science: Extracting sun- shine from a rainy day. The best mathenmtics: Multiplying the joys and dividing the sorrows of others. The best art: Painting a ~mile upon the face of a ehiht. The best music: The laughter of happy children. --The Kablegram, Pat--Oi wouldn't throw ye a rope if ye was drownin' Mike--Oi wouldn't touch it if ye did. --Exchange. One for Pat An Irishman was seated in a train beside a pompous individual who was accompanied by a dog. "Foine dog yc have," said the Irish- man. "Phwat kind is it ?" "A cross between an Irishman and She Wanted to Know Jl Little Girl--Mother, when do t~l dians come on ? /] Mother---Why, there are no 1~ in this play. 1|_ Little Girl--Then who sea pc] those men in the front row?~'~ Opinion. This Kinda Bends in the MI~ "Santa Claus played a dirty the bowlegged girls, didn't "Why ?" "See what he put in their ings !"--E. The Lesser Evil "Why didn't you stop when nalled you ?" inquired the officer "Well," replied Mr. ChugginS, taken me two hours to get t~ flivver started, and it seemed to stop her merely to avoid thing like being arrested."--Ex. an ape," the man replied. Cipheritia IIG=l~lOtll:~Subscribe now--S2 per year "Shure, an' it's related to bothof The last return of the ReiCh: us !"--Exchange. gave the total German note cir0 I il---- as92,844,720,742,927,000,OOOr~ Insanity the Better Word nearly ninety-three quintillions. Broadmindedness is the ability to ~~ grin when another fellow pets the girl The Measure of a Man you brought to the party.--Mercury. Not-- "How did he die?" ~"J'3ISt'~ll Jk ~q,.~iF1;l~Z~ Dla.,y Madame, What Size.'/ But-- Select twelve men whose wives are "How did he live ?" suits present Ask them to remove their ---Excha ! collars, ties and collar buttons. Place all the haberdashery thus collected on the speakers table. Then, at a given MICKIE SAYS-- A pick their respective husband's be- ~EO IN BLUE DENIM, KHAIKI OR STRIPES After [ ~ ~I~kVI3F t't'q ~I~VOW~ At the dentist's office..) ~O ~ M~-N4 stORK_ ___'14 ~ stO~#~ MUCH BETTER LOOK- Smith--You give me the laughing gas ~) X'O LOtaOOkt 'U P~Ik~$.',~.~'ffttX]~ after you get the tooth. I won't feel [ OE~T t4k)~ t4~'I'kBZEt. ",II, t'~ ING THAN THE OLD like laughing otherwise. ] ME~O4~MT ~14T I~OJM4, Hp:~ k_ STYLE PLAY SUIT , , Would they Stay? ) OE~o~f IA~Tt.~ ~bk, "f~A' } 'n AND THEY WEAR 'Who s in that henhouse, shouted the irate owner, as, hearing a noise in ~ ~t~.~tEco$ ~I'It4OUT "IMtz)&! JUST AS WELL the night, he rushed out and aimed a t s oot t at th oor, ~,,MJ~, I~ "Ain't nobuddv in here," responded a faint and tremb'ling voice from the in- Kt s, ........ de. Am t nobuddy, sah, ceptm just us chickens.--Exchange. There are so many people who know what isn't so, and stick to these beliefs against every argument, that the man who really knows and disseminates his knowledge has a great opportunity to ~F., H E_ y W__,-, 0 D, make his power felt.--A Booster. "O~_~. ,, Fired Him Hank-- My brother sure was a dumb The Best Reason for Buy'ng in Avalon guy." Frank--"How's that ?" 116 Sumner Avenue, Opposite Atwater Hotel Hank--"Why, they had to burn down Around the Cortmr--But is Pay, to Walk. the schoolhouse to get him out of the first grade !"--SunDial.