Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
February 13, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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February 13, 1924

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PAGE TWELVE HEADQUARTERS FOR WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A COMPLETE ASSORTMENT OF Vegetable and Flower SEEDS Now in the time to plant[ CATALINA HARDWARE COMPANY Refined ...... THE. CATALINA ISL ALAS, 'VlS rnue Crude --- ! What Did He Mean? They were on the grandstand at the football game, and he was pointing out to his fair companion some of the good points of the respective players. "That's Erown over there," said he; in a few weeks he will be our best man." "Oh, George." she replied, blushing; "this is so sudden." "\Vhat is a zebra, father ?" "A sport model jackass, my son." Black Psychology "Dere's a lot ob yo' fine winunen folks," said an old negro preacher, "dat comes to chu'ch regular an' sees eb- bery hat but one, an' dat's de one de Lawd passes right undah yo' noses fo' help in his cause an' to sabe yo' brack 3ouls." She--Vbat does Rose find to talk about ? Pump (to Milk Can man A GOOD RUNNER "'Has that w~uld-be actor before an audience?" "Yes--at a $2.40 gait." i~1 "Isn't Madatn Du Fay generous ?" barber at the first chair. SOME REALLY ~ U "VII say" she is! She gave me the last dirty look she had."--Iudge. "Are you related to John M BEATUTIFUL COLORS f " " Mark Sullixan was asked. fl I ~~[~~;'~ I I Compliments "Not.very closely. I was m AND The neatest compliment of all times er's first son, John was the sb contest among those present on her Little Elizabeth (xisiting her age. "I do not know your age, madam," on the farm)--And do your pigs said a non-committal irishman, "but to be bacon or sausages when grow up ? whatever it is, you don't look it." Scientists now say that the next war MICKIE SAYS--- Iwill be fought with electricity. Per- kl~lo u~ r,,=,-_,-,,~,,,,, haps they will touch off the explosions { WE WOMT M~'IMER. STOP ",~' with "mind currents." Wonderful Resemblance ~ COPq, ~t.Pt" ~fl-~ PAPEi~. ~lOt4~' entered a street car when another lady/ IdOE~.'kl ,~. [~.EVd44Y ~'~lRI ~( entered, and the mother whispered to ctuu , t ets, he,-little girl, "isn't she beautiful?" V ~'R'&10'd~' 8" ....... Ye~, mamma, rephed the chdd, and I Scrims . ~ she looks just like you." "Thank you, darling," said the moth- er. "so you think she looks like me ?" I "Yes, mamma," answered the daugh- --- fl and SEVERAL PIECES OF THE HEAVIER MATERIALS~. ter, "all 'ecpt the head." , [ ~._a., ..~--~ Mary ate a little lamb; MAKE UP ONE uF THE FINEST SELECTIONS 'Twas good beyond all question, l; And so she ate a little more WE HAVE EVER HAD And died ofindigestion. IHe May Do it Yet I 1 11'"- WOOD S An attractive young woman attended a spiritualistic seance and told the medium that she would like to hear i that she could recognize his voice. Presently a voice came from the trum- pet saying, "I am Fred," whereupon The Best R~son for Buying in Avalon the young woman burst into a fit of laughter. When she could control her 116 Sumner Avenue, Opposite Atwater Hotel voice," she said: "When did _mY~,, poor U Around the Corner---But is Pays to Walk. little dead doggie learn to talk. Renew your subscription to The O--,aikl3L~ ~..m~, , .a Catalina Islander, $2 per year. I$'OfarlaR0~ A newly-arrived can 'i:!ate for naval honors was greeted by a pompous na- val officer, "\Veil, youngster, how did you come here?" he queried. "I sup- pose it is the ohl story--the fool of the family sent to sea." "Oh, no, sir." was the quick reply; "That's all been changed since your day." Not Here ! A lady by the name of Mrs. Katz was diligently searching business district of Crescent an effort to locate her her search she burst into the barber shop and asked: "Bob Katz here ?" "No, madam,, we do not," To the Guard House faith. He--Not-a-thing--mostly scandal ! Why 1 Resigned A Scotsman came in and He Had Counted Both whether he would lose any int "Father," said the minister's son, he withdrew a dollar today an( "my teacher says that 'collect' andback tomorrow. I thought ] 'congregate' mean the same thing. Do joking. they ?" . I told a woman to endorse a Perhaps they do, nty son, stud the to her husband, and st~e wrote old clergyman, "but you may tell your back, "Your loving wife, Dor teacher that ther( is a vast difference A customer complained bec between a congregation and a collec-d dn t pay. interest on hts over tion." I advertised "Consult your . and somebody thought I me: When Jinks tried to talk at the ban-Life. quet the "other night he said that his mind refused to operate. Angler--Nothing but an act Well, be stopped talking, didn't he ? vidence will ever let me land Boatman--Gee. I .wish I