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The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
January 23, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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January 23, 1924

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PAGE TEN SIGNS OF THE TIMES You have often heard the expres- sion, "I don't believe in signs." But at times there are exceptions. For in- stance, take last summer, when a sign was posted on the wall behind the counter at the Hotel Atwater. It was thought it might be of benefit, not only to the clerks in force, but also to guests viewing same. The sign was plainly visible, with the sage expression: "Tlaere is Only One Way. to be Happy-~and That is to Make Someone Else Happy." Some two weeks after the posting of the aforesaid sign, it mysteriously disappeared, and no amount of quest- ioning resulted in a clew as to its whereabouts. The "Cat is now Out of the bag," through the announced marriage of Hugh Stevenson, of the Hotel At- water. It is surmised that Steve read and reread the card, and it impressed him so deeply that he took it from the wall, carried it to the town of On- tario, California, and, presenting it boldly to the present Mrs. Stevenson, made her see the "light," and both, making the vow "I Promise to Obey," mentally contemplated that They were Making Someone Else Happy. Last week was replete with Big Events in. Avalon: Hugh Stevenson was married on Monday, January 14th, and Tuesday, January 15th/; Avalon voted for a new high ~hool and grammar school at the rate of 113 to 1. We understand that one vote was cast for a kindergarten. Yes! Hugh Stev- enson arrived back in time to east his ballot at the school election. BACHELOR CLUB MEMBERs" ARE INDIGNANT A special meeting of the Avalon Bachelors' Club was hastily called on Monday of last week. Great indigna- tion was expressed at the desertion from their ranks of their president, Hugh Stevenson, and the following new officers were elected: President, Archibald Loud Laurance. First Vice-President, R. S. Alexander Second Vice-President, L W. Cran- dall. ~ , , Secretary, J. D~ Malloch. : Treasurer, James D. Kenny. Sergeant-at-Arms, Tony Moricich. Among others present at the meet- ing were Clyde Van MaXter< Fred H. Paulson, E. H. Bernegger, Frank John- son, C. t t. Cro~ I on, A. A. "MeD0n.n~elL L E \Vilkic, with several, others, tried to gain admission, but all were properly handled by the Serge'ant-at- Arms. THE' CATALINA iSLAN~l~l~ VALC ~ A .~ n tmepartment Edited by George 1E. Daul ]LPublic1 ed spouse, retires modestly to a near- ABALONES FOR SALEt by couch. Our hero---the ncw hubby, gradually moves up with the line until he finds the clerk handing him a pen to affix that "signature of signatures," which :. he had dreamed of so long "Mr. and Mrs. -------~-" He poises the pen, with his heart jumping feverishly. Often, while in the line, he had planned just how he would affix that signature, and he had smiled inwardly with pride. But he is interrupted in the important task by the clerk who; with a smile, questions, "Nice room with bath and twin beds ?" A significant smile quirks the corners of the clerk's mouth. The people in the line in back seem to all be snick- ering as he replied with a guilty, rosy- red blush, "No, sir; a large double bed is desired." The clerk piled his well- laid plans of seriousness in a heap in the .corner as he vouchsafed, "Just married, I see. Well. congratulations are in order. We will try to make your stay a pleasant one." He extends his hand unconsciously-- a sickly, smile proves his appreciation of the clerk's well wishes; the bell-boy pickes .up his baggage with a welcom- ing grin; his wife shrinks into the dark recesses of the lobby couch, as if silently asking him to pass her by and not make her share the witticisms ex- pressed by the lobbyists and the sym- pathic smiles of old married men con- gregated in the lobby. He quickly takes his little wife's arm and rushes so madly up the stairs that the bell-boy needs must call on reserve powers to keep them in tow. Only when they reach the safe haven of their room do they feel free from the jibes'of the public. Then, they realize that they must, some time, go out again into the smiling world and shoulder the burden of jokes, smiles, and tricks always IMayed .upon newly- Weds. "Fll tell yo.u, folks, I know from ex- " ~perien~e " ~i but' a~ sholt while back, when I was marched into jail in Ava- .lori "~as a 'newly-wed, and then with handcuffs affixed to nay wrists was taken as a criminal into the expansive Editor George E. Daul has."edhed". Boos Bros. cafeteria,, before the gap- everything on this page ex~e~l~~his ~:'hag "~eye~ of ~ ,t.housand people and item. How does it feel to'~ be 'an ,i'hfide to ?carry a tray ~and endeavor to eat the lone bowl of soup allotted, with EDITOR, George? Some folks say that "editors" think more about their handcuffs clinking an accompaniment newspapers than most of the newly- to the strains I emitted while partak- weds think about their partners. Ed- ing of the aforesaid delicacy," itors are THINKING all the time All of the above may give you an about their newspapers. Bet you idea of how,it will look from the ~ut- Geo you've do~ae'more" T.HINKIN~.:~ide looking in to,one of those hotel during the past.week~.t.han 3/on .have '-~ erks w,hdn .HE gets 'marned, , : done in the previous" montK~ And .Many couples whom Steve has "Steve," don't let 'era get under your "joshed" would like to be in at his collar. You'll need that collar for "Irish Wake" when he and his blush- other occasions in later years !--Win- ing bride are received with open arms die. by his many friends in Avalon. It is By Charles Jacob Dash Those of you who are eligible to the ranks of matrimony, and are harboring intentions in that direction, may learn a few things from the occurrence of certain event in the life of one of our "past" bachelors. Some of you are naturally timid and of a retiring disposition (and a certain few are even of a late retiring disposi- tion), and are not thoroughly familiar ~ith the arts and wiles of the girls who will this year scheme and maneu- ver, in every imaginable way, to entrap the unsuspecting fellows, and put them tinder contract to pay their board for the remainder of their lives. H you are inclined to bashfulness; or arc not. entirely familiar with the con- ventional methods of imiting a lady to bear your name and share your mis- fortunes, there comes to your relief a year in every four during which you are completely free from any worry incidental to the modus operandi. It will be done for you! It may be that you have been the possessor of a free and in0ependent mode of living, going about your af- fairs in the even tenor of your way, but if you are one who coimnands a position of any kind in society, or gives any indication oi being a compe- tent wage-earner--sooner or later dur- ing one of these fateful years, if you have not already taken the initiative. you will be "discovered"--and when you regain consciousness you will find yourself ensconsed in some cosy bun- galow, where, in looking about you, you will say to yourself: "I am mon- arch of all I survey!" But please don't say this to anyone else, for you would only be kidding yourself. You will be permitted to stick around the house all you please; in fact, you will be dared to go out! There are extreme cases where even the ball and chain has been used. No- body will challenge your right to wash the dishes, irrigate the shrubs and flowers, sweep off lhc side~xall, and, perhaps, ruin a perfectly good pzJr of eyes trying to fasten up a gown with a set of hooks and eyes the size of a pinhead. If, in the past, your shirts have lacked buttons in certain places, or your hosiery has been punctured, you will be very lucky in the future to own either shirts or hosiery--in any condi- tion. "To make a long story short," you have made up your berth--now you must lie in it. But when you do lie, do it in a way that you won't be caught at it--for explanations and alabis are often difficfilt, and sometimes impossi- ble. The 366 days of the present year will soon pass into history,and beginning at (Continued on Page 11, Column 2) DURING THE SEASON CATALINA FISH MARKET .O-.O. @-~-, O'-~,'.-~ ~ @,-.~'o-O.'@ WE FURNISH FAMILIEI With Furnishings, Dry Go~ and Shoes HEYWOOD'S O, O, @--O, ~---~..-~ u- ~--t1..-O @' GREETINGS ; Se, Sultr from Mos( HELEN and "ALEX" Ridir Preh -O--O-.-O-.O., O. q#"'O, O.-'t--~-. O., ~ Two Seldt STEVE HAD MANY A ;i~ Man M ou "CLOSE SHAVE" at Row BILLY PRICE'S GOldchi *,-,111(:: The Atwater Barber Shopi! Deli~ All . Daft Mar We Extend Our Sincere Sympathy h~ Aut BETTY and CRANDALL 'I"m ADOHR CERTIFIED A s sl MILK Gre ]3 HdOVER'S MARZET WE STAND BEHIND ALL OUR BEDS Cd CATALINA HARDWARE : COMPANY FOR BRIDES and GROOI~i MI Desirable Cottages For Rent Is~ With or Without Bath A' T1 We Transfer Anything from a Baby Carriage to a H Bride T A. L. LAURANCE Real E~tate AVALON TRANSFER CO.. C Good Wishes F. "NO HOME BODY" "VIC" LET ME SERVE YOU \ LEE S. RENFROE (Father of the Catalina Twins) i Marine Laundry Agency ,e 0. @~@, o,~-,@, o~ @.'C;"~' 0~ @'i