Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
January 16, 1924     The Catalina Islander
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January 16, 1924

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PAGE TWELVE THE CATALINA ISLAN [] Crude ~LLP=.D STE~,'J TI'HNG~ Some Modest On: of our "fair ones" around the oI~ce is so modest that she actually blushed when we asked her if she ever saw Oliver Twist. "\V-W-~Vhy," she gasped, "you know I never attend those nlodern dances." --Pacific Electric Magazine. A black woman .halted in front of a produce store in a Georgia town and addressed the proprietor who was also of color. "Is these here aigs fresh?" "I hain't sayin' dey ain't," he [tn- swered. " " .... i ' " Mrs. ~ouugbrlde--Dld the I am t axm you ~s dey a n t, she snapped. "I axin' you is dey is. Is whom you worked before help dey ?" to cook? ~__ Cook--Well, mum, sometlme~ To the Rear, March! help put things in a stew. "Where did the automobile hit you, - ........ Sam ?" "\Veil, Judge, if I'd been carrying a 'Tis Better Thus ~v^~^rcr~ license number it would have been Burroughs--I asked you for a ~.~ busted in a thousand pieces." of $10. This is only five. , "-- lust Ditched Lenders--I know it, but that s ~ Ensign--A.nd you said you lost con- fairest way--you lose five and I A COMPLETE STOCK OF THESE ATTRACTIVE RUGS trol of your car ? five.--Denver Post. Chief--Yes, I couldn't keep up the COMPRISING instalhnents. Slight Misunderstanding Visitor--Can you tell me if THE LATEST PATTERNS AND SIZES That's a Woman for You Jones is up in his room? Just the Thing for Your Kitchen or Dining Room He--Oh, darling, ,I shall be so miser- Frosh--Sorry, there's nobody h Prices Ranging From able all the while I m away from ,you. in the top story. She--Oh, Harold, if I could be sure Visitor--Oh, excuse me. I'll 60c t $19 95 o~ that it would make me so happy.-- some one else.--Purple Parrot. O Selected. Only Human A Starter CATALINA HAR E I OMPANY Things were not going to suit the Farmer--Now, comealong, and stage manager, who became vociferous, teach you to milk the cow. "Speed up that farce." ' Cockney Hand--Seein' I'm new t "We are speeding." ' Mister, hadn't I better learn on "Then speed up a little more." ' calf.--London Opinion. "Boss, you can't make a stage fari:e look like a movie."--Louisville Courier- Journal. His Odd Idea i --- o First Steno--The idea of your w~ ~'~ ~OOi "-'-'-"'~OOe-""--'--'~O ~C=~OOC~:~OOC~)~O(~O0~OOI~"I Man---the Necessary Evil ing steady eight hours a day ! U How is Nell doing in her marriage ? would not think of such a thing! I Oh, perfectly lovely! She has a Second Steno---Neither would I. beautiful home and garden--everything was the boss that thought of it.---Td e e bhowlng exquisitely furnished--her own tuna- Topics. ,. .a, : bout--stunning gowns and so on--but she can't stand her husband. How- , "Why He Saw Red ever, I suppose we all have our trou- 'What made the teacher so ang bles. asked Johnnie's father? ~ "Oh!" said Johnnie, "he was tall [Q~x~~~"~"~~ U]l Ignorance! about trees, and I asked him if he An old captain and his mate entered ever seen a pink pahn." a hotel and ordered soup. The waiter "He said 'No,' and I showed him / ~,t-,,..-r~ p lacedfront of Smethem,,Curius looking stuff in hand !"--Boys' Life. ' I. 'g':'~i[Ih~ ' ~ , :': i~ ~ Hi, waiter! shouted the skipper ~.]~ ,-~ ~~ ~ ',:Soup, sir," said the. waiter. ). Soup!' roared the skipper, turning Here we ve been sailin on that stuffLO~ t~~ "-~. ~,~ At~'r ~o~" all our lives and never knew it was klO ~/~$Okl ~O ~'~ GO~E ~14~)d soup 'till just now !"--Boys' Life. VIE V40)4f PI~.~KI~" r~, ~EC~'k r AI,4~ WE ~O~PG~ PRtkl~" S"fUFF SOME GOOD VALUES IN y "Vv-hen I'm a man--" began Rubble "~A'~ EV~'IeOOV 15 after a stormy interview with his g father. IIqTEP-E.ST~ b IM "~- th"whater. will you do?" asked his mo- - J--I Ix CA'V~ OWEL5 ! ] I"~, "I'll name my boy after papa--and [ A~R't~ ! Oh!Examiner.hOw I'll spank him!"--Los Angeles ~,~ --- IF YOU ARE GOING TO NEED U "I wonder why it is a girl can't A FEW YOU WILL SAVE catch a ball like a man." "Oh, a man is so Uluch bigger and MONEY BY BUY easier to catch."--Los Angeles Exam- HEYwoOD's iiner' ICloudy Simp--I think I flunked in my exams in school today. Couldn't even say what made it rain. Do you know? i " The Best R~son for Buying in Avalon ~ Gimp--I'm not sure, but I think it must be water leaking out of the Great 116 Sumner Avenue, Opposite Atwater Hotel [I Dipper.--Boys' Life, Around the Corner--But is Pays to Walk. ii Advertise your nee~ls in The Catalina Islander. '~ 04~