Newspaper Archive of
The Catalina Islander
Avalon, California
January 7, 1931     The Catalina Islander
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January 7, 1931

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PAGE TWELVE- [] Refined Crude l Cohen and Levy Cohen met I+vvy on the street. "V;I.t ;tl'C \'~111 smilin~ :~o much Cabinet Heaters "I am very happy," replied Levy. "Vat is i't ? Have you a little brew. asked C( hen. "No," replied Levy. "I have a Fttle Hebrew."--Exchange. Irate Customer--"I left word three ECONOMICAL days ago to have my front door bell S~_ m l!fixe(1 antt it hasn't been dOne yet''' Proprietor--"Why I "sent someone ORNAMENTAL out. Jones, didn't,,you fix that bell at 104 Drum Street ? Electrician--"I went out there, but I rang the bell five times and no one One home."--Exchange. sAttlrtuhc~ d ~ethe; ~:Snk rdS:rn ;t2 2rn rs:::alS eu e e e h::r Impossible ' First Stranger (at the 1 arty) : e steady burning in a! closed room. [I "Very dull, isn't it?" Second: "Yes, very." II "Let's go home." "I can't. I'm the host."--Cross See- tion. Price I1 Y~f~eh ~f~eeuYt!u~il'~s t d:vS' tn ?'~that?" ChauffeurPrspectiVeEmplyer :: "But,,Well,Emplyer:, whYif you"WhYleaveand mustfr(tidhis know, sir they fell out of the carl"- Fishing Gazette. I1 + it e Professor: The school should b the happiest place in the world." i Student : "How come ? That's all i~ VE. hooey !" Oq~ ~ 125 METROPOLE Pri:fcssc~r: "Well, our students are always improving." A nervous breakdown seems to be ....... '" '"-"-'-~1~ a luxury in which only the rich in- ~1 ~1011~:~lll~lIC~ll~ll~~al~ ~ dulge.--Bagology. I Cautious Jones (venturing out the first time in his new car): "Don't talk for a few minutes my dear; here is a tel-. S:::2~O~~ Iegraph pOle cming'''-Exehange" "Are these sheets qmte cl an. asked the tourist as he surveyed the bed. "Clean!' cried the landlady indig- nantly. "Of course they are. They've just come , from the laundry. Feel them--they, re still damp.W" -~-Llverpool" Evening Express. I --values in looks and wear that you U po,mv will find it hard to equal. Formerly Young Man--"May I ask you, sir, if you think that your daughter would priced at $1.50 and $2.00 these II make a suitable wife?" Lawyer McNab--"No, sir, I don't hose represent styles and colors W think she would. Five dollars, please." that we are discontinuing and give --Exeha.g . I you an opportunity to buy real ser [[ A broken heart Does hurt a bit; vice stockings at an unusually low iUBut oh, the fun price. " Acquiring it. --Mary Carolyn Davies. Artificial Celebration I Mistress to her sedate butler- " ,. - James, tomorrow is Christmas Day and I want you to turn on the elec- I ,, Y OOO> ! t e eato admk ome now balls for Master Bertram to throw at you.--Exchange. Polite ,, Son: "Pass the butter. Mother (reprovingly) : "If what ?" I I Son : "If you can reach it. 118 Sumner Avenue Opposite Atwater Hotel A Glad New Year Every day is a fresh beginning, Listen, my soul, to the glad refrain, I And spite of old sorrow, and older sinning, And troubles forecasted, and possible pain, d Take heart with the day, and begin again. --Susan Coolidge. tHE CATALISA